By: Dahana St Jean 

Nothing won’t ever be the same,

And when people look at me, they won’t ever see those scars,

I can be the type that will drink away my pain,

Filled with so much problems, so much, it outnumbered the stars,

Try counting your blessings instead of your worries,

Says my mom who I’m trying to make proud,

I really am trying, I just have to find a way to erase those awful memories,

I blame those awful memories for being so darn loud,

Or better yet, the incident that ruined me,

I can’t function like I use to,

I’m tryna find a way to make it look so easy,

Take care of my responsibilities like an adult ought to do,

Striving for greatness yet caught up in the past,

Attempting to press forward, but, at times I feel numb,

As far as school goes, I’m at a fear in whether I’m gonna fail or pass,

It’s not what you think – I’m neither slow nor dumb,

Because of my teacher, my parents are in agreement of me having a learning disability,

Far from the truth, afraid to confess the truth, but, I will not speak on it now,

Next up, a psychiatrist who all of a sudden prescribed me something for “ADD”,

Again, far from the truth, afraid to confess the truth but eventually will somehow,

Paid a visit to a psychologist  because this thing has been bothering me all week,

Addressing the issues was tough when I think about it – I couldn’t speak,

Halfway into therapy turned into the game hide and seek,

Therapist makes effort, curious to peak,

To see what’s going on in my head – he uses a certain form of technique,

His method was helpful in most part and unique,

Though, refusing to speak upon what’s hidden outside of my consciousness – I remain silent,

Never missed a day of therapy – perfect attendance,

From there, I’ve learned  it happened to me and I, by myself can’t control it,

Haunted by this trauma so I push to neglect its existence,

Has only left me to be complicated amongst others and agoraphobic,

Says the therapist who I eagerly wanted to avoid,

Therapeutic relationship was good but then I got annoyed,

Skipping therapy all of sudden has left me with a sudden void,

All praises to the most High because my life could have been destroyed,

Seeking therapy again, seeking God ongoing has improved my life overall,

This trauma (my invisible scar) has finally been revealed,

And talking about it has helped – though, it was not easy to do so, I’ve felt better through it all,

It has made me stronger mentally and spiritually – and so, it’s clear to say, I’ve gained hope in being healed.

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